Friday, May 9, 2008


How often have we gotten into an argument with our loved ones or our friends and colleagues with neither one willing to give way? Can any one of us say with honesty that we have never been in an argument?

Compromise is part and parcel of interpersonal relationships. It's a crucial part of marriage, work and life in general. From my own personal experience and also from observing situations at work I do feel that many a conflict could have been resolved if one party had just stopped to consider the point that the other was trying to make. In relationships, I myself have been guilty of imposing my will and sometimes just being plain stubborn. Of course I do have my point sometimes.

Where work is concerned, it's pretty much the same where both parties want to make a point but neither one is willing to concede his or her point. I have seen this in negotiations with certain customers where they insist that they are right although we have clearly stated the negative implications of going their way. Such disputes also occur between developers and the quality assurance team (QA) where the QA frequently argue that developers don't do sufficient testing and the developers have the impression that the sole mission of the QA was to make life a living hell for them. However, if both parties would just sit back and think, they would realise that both parties aspire for one thing... to deliver a good product. I suppose this is the main reason why a project manager or leader is required to moderate and make decisions in the event of a deadlock.

In relationships, most if not all of us would have had arguments with our significant other sometimes over silly little things and sometimes over significant issues. But again, right or wrong, both parties should realise that continued arguments would serve neither party. In the end, both will be unhappy. Sometimes, in an effort to resolve the dispute, why not just take a step back and consider the other party's argument and consider compromising.

It is understandable that this can be difficult as it is not possible to always compromise. In this aspect, I suppose both parties have to be reasonable. God knows that conflicts can easily be averted if we as individuals can be more compromising... :-D

No comments: